CATCH A WIFFER WOFFER

Oh, I'm walkin' round the corner
Doing little harm
Along comes a policeman
And grabs me by the arm

Oh, he walks me round the corner
Rings a little bell
Along comes a wagon
And knocks me in a cell

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' Eenie meenie and a miney moh

Oh, five o'clock in the morning
I looked up on the wall --
The roaches and the bedbugs
Were having a game of ball

Oh, the score was six to nothing
The roaches were ahead --
The bedbugs hit a home run
And knocked me out of bed

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' Eenie meenie and a miney moh

Oh, six o'clock in the morning
The jailer comes around
A piece of bread and coffee
That weighs a half a pound

Oh, the coffee tastes like tobacco juice
The bread is hard and stale
But that's the way they treat the bums
In New York County Jail

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' Eenie meenie and a miney moh

I went downtown for breakfast
I ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many pickles
The juice ran down my legs

I fell into a sewer
And that is where I died
They did not call it murder --
They called it sewer-cide

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' Eenie meenie and a miney moh

Standing on the corner, not doin' any harm,
Along came a policeman and took me by the arm
He took me 'round the corner and rang a little bell
Along came a police car and took me to my cell

I WAS STANDIN' ON THE CORNER...

I was standin' on the corner, not doin' any harm
Along came a policeman and took me by the arm
He took me to a little house and rang a tiny bell
Along came a lizzie and took me to the jail

I woke up in the mornin' and looked up on the wall
The skeeters and the bedbugs were havin' a game of ball
The score was four to nothing, the skeeters were ahead
The bedbugs knocked a homerun and knocked me out of bed

I went downstairs to breakfast
The bread was hard and stale
Coffee tastes like tobacco juice
At the Bennett County jail

LUZERNE COUNTY JAIL

I was standing on a corner
not doing any harm
along comes a policeman
grabs me by the arm

takes me around the corner
rings a little bell
next thing I know
I'm sitting in a cell

I woke up in the morning
looked up at the wall
the bed bugs and roaches
they had a game of ball

the score was 19 to 20
the roaches were ahead
the bedbugs hit a home run
and knocked me out of bed

I went downstairs for breakfast
the toast was hard and stale
coffee like tobacco juice
that's the Luzerne County Jail

NAMELESS SONG

This mornin' when I woke up
I looked up on the wall
The roaches and the bedbugs
were having a game of ball

The score was six to nothing,
the roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a homerun
and knocked me outta bed!

Oooooohhhh...
hambones, hambones, hambones...

it ain't gonna rain no more...
Soooo.. how in the heck
can I wash my neck
if it ain't gonna rain no mo!

BEDBUG SONG

OKLAHOMA DEPRESSION SONG

The score was nine to nothing and the cooties were ahead
A bed bug knocked a home run and knocked me out of bead

Ooohh... ham bone, ham bone, disconnected cheese
A weenie turned a flip flop and lit right on his knees

I went down stairs to breakfast, the toast was hard and stale
The coffee tasted like tobacco juice fresh from the county jail

Ooohh... Ella had a baby, She named it Sammy Jim
She took it to the bathroom to learn it how to swim

It drank two tubs of water and it ate two bars of soap
And now poor Ella's baby is learning how to float

It floated up the river and it floated down the lane
And now poor Ella's baby is never home again

BED BUGS

I woke up Saturday morning
I looked up on the wall
The skeeter's and the bed bugs
were havin' a game of ball

The score was four to nothin'
The skeeter's were ahead
The bed bugs hit a home run
that knocked me out of bed

I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe
catch those whimper whompers by the toe
And if they holler oller oller, don't let 'em go
I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe

I went downstairs for breakfast
I ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many pickles
the juice ran down my legs

The eggs were really runny
The ham was really tough
But I'll tell you one thing
I couldn't get enough

I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe
catch those whimper whompers by the toe
And if they holler oller oller, don't let 'em go
I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe

The skeeter's came downstairs
They wanted breakfast too
I gave them some bologna
they knew just what to do

And when those bugs were finished
they flew way on ahead
Then I ran up the stairs
to go and make my bed

I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe
catch those whimper whompers by the toe
And if they holler oller oller, don't let 'em go
I'm singing eenie meenie and a miny moe

AIN'T GONNA RAIN NO MORE

Chorus:
Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more
It rained last week and the week before, it ain't gonna rain no more

Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore
She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate for more

A bullfrog sat on a lily pad, looking up in the sky
He fell right off that lily pad, and got water in his eye

Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track, it's heart was all a-flutter
Along came the 5:05 - Oops! peanut butter

A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming fast
The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go past!

I woke up in the morning, I glanced upon the wall
The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball

The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead
A bedbug hit a home run and knocked me out of bed!

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collar bone
We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well alone

A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards gave way
And as as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time to hit the hay"

Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head
So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and bread

THE COOTIES AND THE BEDBUGS

Oh, I woke up in the morning
And looked upon the wall
The cooties and the bedbugs
Were having a game of ball

The score was six to nothing
The cooties were ahead
I got so darned excited
I fell right out of bed!

I DON'T WANT NO MORE OF THIS ARMY LIFE

Five o'clock in the morning
and I glanced up on the wall
Bedbugs and the roaches
were having a game of ball

Score was six to nothing
and the bedbugs were ahead
The roaches hit a homer
and knocked me outta bed

I don't want no more of this army life
Gee, Mom, I wanna go home
No, I don't want to more of this army life
Gee, Mom, I wanna go...
Oh boy, do I wanna go...
Gee, Mom, I wanna go home

I woke up sunday morning
I looked upon the wall
The bedbugs and the skeeters
were playin' a game of ball

The score was 2 to nothing,
the skeeters were ahead
The bedbugs make a homerun
which knocked me outta bed

I'm singing...
catch a whipper whopper by it's toe
and if he hollers hollers hollers
don't let him go singin'
Eener meener and a miner moe

I went downstairs to breakfast
I ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many pickles
the juice ran down my legs

I'm singing...
catch a whipper whopper by it's toe
and if he hollers hollers hollers
don't let him go singin'
Eener meener and a miner moe

I went out to the bus stop
the bus was always there
I looked down at the tires
and out came all the air

I'm singing...
catch a whipper whopper by it's toe
and if he hollers hollers hollers
don't let him go singin'
Eener meener and a miner moe

My mother is an Agent
my father is a spy
And I'm the little stinker
who called the FBI

I'm singing...
catch a whipper whopper by it's toe
and if he hollers hollers hollers
don't let him go singin'
Eener meener and a miner moe

I woke up Sunday morning
and looked up on the wall
the beetles and the bed bugs
were playing a game of ball

The score was seven-nothing
The beetles were ahead
The beetles hit a home run
and knocked me out of bed

I'm singing
eenie-meenie and a minie moe (oh oh oh)
catch a whipper-whopper by the toe (oh oh oh)
and if he hollers hollers hollers
let him go (oh oh oh)
eenie-meenie and a minie moe

I went downstairs to breakfast
I ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many eggs
The ham rolled down my legs!

I'm singing
eenie-meenie and a minie moe (oh oh oh)
catch a whipper-whopper by the toe (oh oh oh)
and if he hollers hollers hollers
let him go (oh oh oh)
eenie-meenie and a minie moe

My mother was a German
My father was a spy
And if you don't believe me
Just call the FBI

I'm singing
eenie-meenie and a minie moe (oh oh oh)
catch a whipper-whopper by the toe (oh oh oh)
and if he hollers hollers hollers
let him go (oh oh oh)
eenie-meenie and a minie moe

I fell into the sewer
That's where I plan to die
Some people call it murder
I call it sewer-cide

I'm singing
eenie-meenie and a minie moe (oh oh oh)
catch a whipper-whopper by the toe (oh oh oh)
and if he hollers hollers hollers
let him go (oh oh oh)
eenie-meenie and a minie moe

Someone, likely wanting to keep the song up-to-date during the 1950's, replaced the German spy verse above with the following:

My mother is a Russian
my father is a spy
And if you don't believe me,
just ask the FBI

JOLLY BUM SONG

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

A bum gets up in the morning
To get the morning breeze
He washes his face in the frying pan
Forgets to comb his hair

A bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Six o'clock in the morning
Mrs. Murphy comes around
With a piece of bread and butter
That weighs a half a pound

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The coffee's like tobacco juice
The bread is hard and stale
And that's the way they feed the bums
In the Richmond County Jail

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

One day I met a man
That I never met before
He asked me if I wanted a job
Shoveling iron ore

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

When I asked him what the wages were
He said "Dollar and half a ton"
Oh mister you can keep your job
I'd rather be a bum

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Three o'clock in the morning
I looked upon the wall
The bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The score was six to nothing
The roaches were ahead
Till a bedbug hits a homerun
And knocks me out of bed

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be